We’re Going For A Ramble

Settle in folks we’re going for a ramble now.

Man, I have spent my summer in doctors offices, in MRI tubes & being poked & prodded & have blood sucked out of me & waiting, lots & lots of waiting. I have been waiting for fall to come & have everything over & done with, well at least having testing done & having answers. Damn, was I wrong. I finally get my brain out of the way, well as much as it can be, at least a plan in place when it comes to it, which is waiting & more MRIs to keep eye on it, then neurologist(he for spine) wanted MRI of spine to see how much worse it’s gotten. Well the way this damn year has been going should have know that wouldn’t turn out good. Now will be seeing doctor to discuss options but already know that that will probably be surgery on spine, yeah I see being able to afford that anytime soon.

So getting my head geared for hearing what doctor has to say I find out my Mom has been diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.  She’s taking the news much better than I am, for various reasons I know way too much about it & it scares me to death. In May of 2001 we found she had stage 3 colorectal cancer, went thru major surgery, radiation & chemo; that was one long summer but she survived that & has been cancer free ever since & now this.

Ya know, for the most part I’ve managed to keep thinking positive thoughts but the way things have been going it’s getting hard. I still have to get mammogram this week because of lumps found in breast & for weeks I’ve been telling myself that it will just be cysts or calcifications but now with the way everything’s been going I’m beginning to expect bad news there. I also have another problem that I’m not going to get into but this is all a bit much.

And to top things off John who has only one eye that he can see out has developed something called Iritis, it’s an inflammation of the iris & makes it very for him to see & is painful. Also found he has what’s called an after cataract, it’s something that can happen after having cataract surgery(that’s why he has the one good eye, still needs on other eye), what that is is a bubble that forms at the back of eye & needs surgeon to laser it open, it makes vision cloudy like cataract does. Our lively depends on his vision & as it stands now we’ve had to turn down work.

Every year I really look forward to the holidays which here in the states starts with Thanksgiving & every year we have the family here for both Thanksgiving & Christmas dinners here. This year especially have been looking forward to holidays but because my sister has chosen not to talk to me my mom cancelled Thanksgiving here & since it’s her house had to go with what she said. Well this has more than upset me, she’s also said no Christmas either. Well one of my uncle’s had Thanksgiving dinner at his home & everyone was invited, my husband & I were the only ones who went, my sister had dinner at grandma’s house where she lives & we weren’t invited.

Ok, a word about this thing with my sister, back in February she got mad at my son because he changed his relationship status on FaceBook without telling her first( seriously) & since she was mad at him she stopped talking to me & since she stopped talking to me her daughter also stopped talking to me. Even after having learned that I have a brain tumor they both have chosen to continue not talking to me. I have a new grand nephew that I haven’t met yet. My sister also made comment to my son ‘You & your mother always choosing friends over family” well she knows I lost a friend because I took her side in fight she was having with said friend on FaceBook, first time she’d ever been in the right. Loosing friend is whole different story.

So there ya go. Now with everything going on(I haven’t even mentioned John’s mom who has Parkinson’s breaking her hip 4 weeks ago) I’ve decided Christmas is on & I’m decorating & will have dinner here & sister can get over herself for one day for our mom’s sake.

I mean, come on! Get over it!

Sorry about going on & on & bitching but really needed to get this out. I appreciate you hanging around & listening.

Damn I want the new year to get here, I’ve had it with this one.