It’s the day before Christmas, Christmas eve & here I sit doing nothing. What I should be doing is running around kitchen cooking & cleaning preparing for Christmas Day. I’m supposed to be getting ready for family to come & be together like Christmas’s of past. House should be fully decorated with garland & lights. There should be a tree that I have carefully lighted & decorated with ornaments that I have collected over the years. But that is not what is happening, so here I sit wondering what am I supposed to do with all the hurt that has been caused to me. Where do I put it? I’m running out of room for anymore pain.
What of those people who are causing the pain, the ones who should know what their doing but are oblivious & really don’t seem to care. The ones who aren’t suppose to cause you hurt, but just don’t want to know.
I have spent the spring, summer & fall dealing with major health problems, doctors & test after test, waiting & doubly looking forward to this time of year. And have it all taken away with no thought as to how it would make me feel. All I have wanted to do for weeks now is just cry. I’m always on the verge of tears, wanting to scream & rail.
I have no more room for the hurt & just need to know, where do I put it all now?