I am so tired of feeling this way. I want to cry, scream & break things. I know if I start I won’t stop. I angry, I’m sad beyond belief & I have no one I can talk to. I realized the other day this is what the rest of my life will be like & it dawned on me that maybe death would be preferable to feeling like this. That’s the one thought that keeps coming back to me. I don’t want to have these feeling anymore. I’m tired of pushing down feelings, I’ve been doing that for over five decades & I just can’t take anymore.
I’m tired of being ill. I’m tired of physically hurting. I’m tired of mentally hurting. I’m tired of pretending. I have no more fight left in me. I’m just tired.
Why don’t you really listen to me?