Sometimes Life Is All About The Waiting

Hi! Well here I am again & all kind of things have happen since we all got together & I talked about stupid tumor in my brain. Last I left off was waiting to hear about getting an appointment to see neurosurgeon. Have you ever noticed that when you’re waiting for a call like that it never comes at a good time? Well call was like that. I had gone to spa salon to get a mani/pedi & am sitting there in the spa pedicure massage chair, up to my calves in water & having feet done when my phone rings & it’s the financial counsellor who you have to talk to first, this is what financial counselling consisted of. The doctor requires a $1000.00 deposit at time of appointment. Can you pay that? Me: Yeah. FC: Hold please & I’ll transfer you to scheduling. Me: Okay. Next person: Hello, this **** . Can you tell me why you’ll be seeing the doctor?

Okay, what am I supposed to do here? Try & get up & dry my feet & go outside & talk to ****? Ask them to call back & then wait who knows how long? I don’t think so! So went with answering questions & try not to talk to loud & for anyone who gets pedicures you know you usually have someone on either side of & the nail techs there too. So there I sit answering all these questions & can just feel women around me giving me these looks of pity when they heard the the words brain tumor, wonderful, just freaking wonderful. Well I answer all **** questions & have pulled my notebook & pen out so I can write down appointment date & time when **** says Alright I’ll give this to the doctor’s scheduling nurse & she’ll be giving you a call to set up appointment. She’ll be back in the office on Tuesday. Me: Okay,thank you. What was saying in my head What are you NUTS! It’s Friday! I’ve already waited 2 fucking weeks! And a thousand dollar deposit! Jesus Fucking Christ!

So Tuesday rolls around & still no call! Only reason I haven’t gone nuts on these people is after doing research on this doctor is he head of neurosciences & head of neurosurgery at Emory so I know he’s not exactly sitting around just waiting for me. Well Wednesday rolls around & I decide I’m gonna call the scheduling nurse, I wasn’t really expecting to get through to her but lo & behold I did! She tells me next appointment time is July. I tell her my nerves can’t take anymore waiting & is there anyway to get in earlier. Well he could work me in on that Friday in between surgeries if I didn’t mind possibly waiting. Oh hell yes, I have books, a netbook & a phone to keep me busy in his office while waiting.

Next step was trying to get someone to feed & take dogs on 2 walks for me. Easier said than done. All family members had one excuse or another as to why they couldn’t do it. This didn’t make me happy at all! Fact is it made me rather pissy, a bunch of stupid excuses! So wound up having to get my husband to drop me off at doctor’s & go back home to take care of dogs & then come back & pick me up.Still shaking my head & rolling my eyes over that. I mean really?

Anyway, finally get there & 1st meet with his who ask all these questions, most of which I’d already answered on 7 page question form, actually understood that, just making sure they had everything right. Did not like the question form, when you’re looking at everything that’s wrong with you you start to feel like hypochondriac! Well after going over everything she did basic neuro testing & it during this that I discovered I can’t do the walk heel to toe. Let’s hope I don’t get pulled over by a cop & told to do that or I’m in big trouble:)

Well finally finish with nurse who tells me doctor will right in to see me & damned if he wasn’t! He came in exam room within 5 minutes of nurse leaving. I was shocked. He tells me that he doesn’t think tumor is malignant or cancerous. But he wants to MRI again in few months to make sure it’s not growing, but he thinks it could be congenital & maybe even been there since I was born. But since it is sitting around the pituitary & so close to the hypothalamus & I’m having all these pituitary problem symptoms he wants me to see the neuroendocronologist( is that not a mouthful?) for more testing & she what she thinks but if it need to be surgically removed it’s in a good place & won’t be problem removing it.

So go & make appointment with new doctor who’s name I won’t even try to pronounce & earliest she has open is early August but I can try calling every other day to see if there’s been a cancellation. Oh goody, here we go again.

I am thrilled that doctor doesn’t think this thing is not going to kill me & no hurry to get it out but I still have thing in my brain that doesn’t belong & I still have all these symptoms that when you add to spinal problems I have is just getting to be too much. I know there are people out there who have it so much worse that me, but I am so tired of of not feeling well on top of the pain I live with everyday. I’m sorry if I’m whining but the pain is easier to take when I at least feel good. Okay enough with the complaining & whining , but this is only place I have to do that. I won’t really say any this to my family, I don’t them worrying any more than they already are. 

Well tomorrow is appointment with my neurologist so we get to see what new joys the day will bring.

Okay, enough of this. I do want to thank you dropping by & listening to go on & on. Sometimes life is all about the waiting & that is what I’ll be doing. 


About francinesplace

I like to read, draw & write. I tend to write the way I talk. I wander a bit & usually get to my point. Some times get lost & never know where I'll wind up! Come along for the ride.
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